Buy the F*cking Lilies: And Other Tools to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There

Product Information

I identified with a lot of what Tara had to say. The tumultuous childhood she had was nuts. The most nutty thing were the unimaginably cruel voice mails her estranged mother would leave her after her parents separated and the mother took the younger sister, leaving Tara with her dad. So, even though I’ve had ups and downs with my own mom, it made me appreciate that we do have a good, if not always easy, relationship. It’s also good to remember to live in an attitude of gratitude for what you do have instead of always wanting what you don’t have.

Reading this book, at a time of my life where as a new widow, starting over, having to face the past and clueless about the future, I can honestly say Tara gave me hope, direction, and inspiration to make the rest of my life the best of my life. There are many other better books on self care and having successfully used other self help/self care books does not make you an expert. This book comes across as an immature self-congratulatory romp through things the author has tried while giving you "permission" to do the same. Every afternoon after rehearsal, Jon would make himself an iced coffee in a little kitchen nook outside the studio door. I noticed that the machine was often dirty, out of water, or—­even worse—­broken, and I imagined how annoyed that must make Jon. Here he was trying to get one of the funniest, most important shows on the air, and he couldn’t even get a mediocre capsule coffee? Not on my watch! I saw my first little break.You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.” (Glennon Doyle, number one New York Times best-selling author of Untamed ) Book Genre: Autobiography, Biography, Essays, Health, Humor, Memoir, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Self Help, Writing I also really liked the "I'm in this with you" tone to the book. Part of it could be defined as a memoir as she takes you through some of her own experiences and, most importantly, what she learned from them. There's a definite "things don't have to be as hard for you as they were for me" kind of sentiment to the book that makes it incredibly relatable and approachable. I did not know much about Tara Schuster as a TV Executive but certainly know her work very well being involved in The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Key & Peele. Her work with those shows helped their rise to popularity and its success. I loved to read about the personal life of very successful people and how they learned to manage the balance of their personal and professional life. The book was a great read and learned a lot from it and was able to take the advice to apply to my own personal life. I believe that other readers would be able to do the same as well. I found the read to be thoroughly thought provoking and admire the self-reflection as part of the book. I felt that the book was written with her heart on her sleeves and must be difficult to write these personal struggles for a very successful professional in the industry.

Every afternoon after rehearsal, Jon would make himself an iced coffee in a little kitchen nook outside the studio door. I noticed that the machine was often dirty, out of water, or—even worse—broken, and I imagined how annoyed that must make Jon. Here he was trying to get one of the funniest, most important shows on the air, and he couldn’t even get a mediocre capsule coffee? Not on my watch! I saw my first little break. This is the book so many of us need right now: afierce-but-tenderguide toconquering ourself-doubt so that we can breathe, be kind to ourselves, and enjoy the onelife we’regiven.” —Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Love Warrior Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele This isn’t just a memoir; it’s too helpful for that. But it’s not a self-help guide either; it doesn’t promise to cure your ills and it won’t make you roll your eyes. It’s a bracingly honest, funny read that will make you feel you’re not alone in the world. Tara Schuster’s debut is like Wild meets You Are a Badass, and her reflections offer hope for Millennials that if your parents didn’t quite ace their roles, it’s not too late to re-parent yourself.” —Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele.

For some people this might be a good book but I didn't really like it. It's a self-help book, with memoir elements, and if that's your jam you'll probably like this. Personally, she lost me when she started talking about how much she loved journaling and the merits of positive psychology. I have a very toxic relationship with journaling and no longer do that, and I don't really like positive psychology because I feel like it's been co-opted in the social media sphere by people who practice toxic positivity. As a memoir, I think I would have better enjoyed this one. But as a pseudo self help-type book, it really missed the mark. After my twenty-­fifth birthday, on my floral duvet, I decided to start where I was. I knew that when it came to healing my own mind, I would have to apply the same persistence, care, and attention I brought to that coffee machine. I would have to show up, figure out what was wrong with the water tank, and work like hell to fix it. I would have to be vigilant and patient, knowing that for no reason at all, sometimes the machine would have a total meltdown and refuse to work, and I’d be left with an ominous red light staring me in the face. While I didn’t have an owner’s manual to my own mind, I did have a quote from Jay-­Z to guide me: “Only thing to stop me is me, and I’ma stop when the hook start.” I ardently believe in the first part; I don’t totally know what he means about the hook starting. Keep a budget, but get regular pedicures for self care - if you don’t, it’s definitely because you have a poor relationship with your monstrous mother.” I have to wonder what my life would have been like if I'd had a friend (or imaginary friend) like Tara Schusterwhen I was in my twenties.Her candor and sincerity are unimpeachable. The lessons she's extrapolated from her unsentimental education arecompelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life. Good work, Tara!” —Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Timesbestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me

A candid, hysterically funny, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in your life.) You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed You’re going to want Tara Schuster to become your new best friend.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Timesbestselling author of Untamed With my show canceled, I began keeping my own journal. It was full of the musings of a child prodigy:“Jamie Belsky-­Briley is 11 out of 10 HOT”; “I would marry Luke Perry, eff Jason Priestley, and kill Ian Ziering (duh)”; “I’m scared to leave my room because my parents are screaming and I don’t want to see them but I ALSO really want to GET OUT OF MY ROOM because mom said the world is full of rapists and murderers who want to kidnap me and I think one is plotting to break in through my bedroom window! How do I escape?” My journal was a safe place where I could be vulnerable and write about how my world felt: violent, tumultuous, confusing, and dangerous.I have to wonder what my life would have been like if I’d had a friend (or imaginary friend) like Tara Schusterwhen I was in my twenties.Her candor and sincerity are unimpeachable. The lessons she’s extrapolated from her unsentimental education arecompelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life. Good work, Tara!” —Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Timesbestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me She also makes self care seem a bit too simple. "I'm sad so I called a friend who lives in Tokyo who told me to come visit her and so I did and wow seeing the world really changed my life and I think you should do the same" or "One day I felt bad about myself and then the next day I bought an unlimited pass to a meditation studio and now my life is changed" (I'm definitely paraphrasing here).

Taking care of yourself through eating well, not muting our lives with drugs including alcohol, getting enough sleep, and nurturing relationships, makes for a much happier life. Nearly every chapter follows the same formula: My life was a mess, but I read/heard/was told this thing that helped me, here's exactly what I did (usually with talk about putting glitter on something), and ends with the sentence or a paragraph "what is your _____?", inviting you to draw comparisons about your own life, without providing anything insightful and glossing over any details she may have learned other than what worked for her. Also, Tara, glitter is an environmental nightmare. After my twenty-­fifth birthday, on my floral duvet, I decided to start where I was. I knew that when it came to healing my own mind, I would have to apply the same persistence, care, and attention I brought to that coffee machine. I would have to show up, figure out what was wrong with the water tank, and work like hell to fix it. I would have to be vigilant and patient, knowing that for no reason at all, sometimes the machine would have a total meltdown and refuse to work, and I’d be left with an ominous red light staring me in the face. While I didn’t have an owner’s manual to my own mind, I did have a quote from Jay-­Z to guide me:“Only thing to stop me is me, and I’ma stop when the hook start.” I ardently believe in the first part; I don’t totally know what he means about the hook starting. I have to wonder what my life would have been like if I'd had a friend (or imaginary friend) like Tara Schuster when I was in my twenties. Her candor and sincerity are unimpeachable. The lessons she's extrapolated from her unsentimental education are compelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life. Good work, Tara!” —Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me In this fun, debut memoir-cum-guide to “reparenting” oneself and living one’s best life, Schuster, a Comedy Central executive, candidly shares her worst experiences and what’s she learned from them. She writes of how she went from self-medicating and self-sabotaging to reclaiming her life by developing healthy rituals such as journaling, writing thank you notes, using vision boards, and cultivating gratefulness. She also divulges sage advice she’s been given from mentors and friends, including Jon Stewart and Anjelica Huston. Other advice includes tips on how to build a “lady harem” (or dream team of supportive friends), make peace with frenemies, keep one’s home dinner-party-ready, and how to best manage money. For the final chapters, she shares what she’s learned in her relationships with men and members of her family. Schuster is jovial throughout and relies on the authority of her experience as she surveys but never overly lauds her impressive career. Filled with gems of wisdom, Schuster’s chronicle of her ups and downs is a winner. (Feb.)Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a former vice president at Comedy Central who was called“ahead of her time”by Jordan Peele